Prone to Wonder

I read something the other day that has kind of stuck with me. It's from a book I'm currently reading: Forgotten God, by Frances Chan.

"Some of you would like it if I said we were going to find a healthy balance between unhealthy extreems. That's not what we're going to do. When we are referring to God, balance is a huge mistake. God is not just one thing we add to the mix called life. He wants an invitation from us to permeate everything and every part of us. In the same way, seeking a "healthy balance" of the Holy Spirit assumes that there are some who have too much Holy Spirit and others who have too little. I have yet to meet anyone with too many Holy Spirit. Granted, I've met many who talk about Him to much, but none who are actually overfilled with His presence.

Is it possible to get enough or even too much God? Is there a point when a person can be satisfied with the amount of intimacy, knowledge, and power of God he or she experiences? I don't see how there can be, because doesn't every encounter with God only cause us to thirst for him more?

Let me be clear. This is not a call to misinformed extremism, but an acknowledgment that as believers we can never be "done" with God. He is infinite and we are finite; there will always be more of His character to discover, more of His love to experience, and more of His power to use for His purposes. I can't say exactly what will happen when you admit that you can never fully know or experience enough of the Holy Spirit yet choose to seek him regardless. I know only that when you surrender full to the Spirit, Christ will be magnified, not you (John 16:14).

And perhaps the core issue is really about our holding back from giving ourselves to God, rather than ou getting "too much" of Him. Perhaps when a person says, "I'd just like a little God, thank you very much," they are really saying, "I'd rather not give the parts of my life that I really care about over to God, so I'll just hold on to this, that, oh, and that, too..."

It doesn't work that way. When I read Scripture, I see the truth and necessity of a life wholly surrendered to and dependent upon the Holy Spirit."

I say that I want God, I pray words and sing songs that state He is more than enough for me, but do I live that way? No - I certainly do not. I whine when things don't go the way I think they should. I cry and get depressed when nothing seems to change - or everything changes! I do not rest in His will - accepting and trusting that He will fulfill all His promises to me - and more than that - that He really does have the best in mind for me. He has planned for me - carefully. He knows my desires, in fact some are even the same as His! :) 

I've been stressing about my life lately - why is this like this or that not like that... Why is nothing the way I think it should be? Well if I truly believe what I say I believe, I know that nothing matters but the fact that God loves me, He is the only one that I need to love me, He is constant and unfailing. If I'm not feeling the Holy Spirit comforting me - which is exactly what He was sent to do (John 14:26) then it's probably because what I'm really saying is - I just want a little of God, just when and where I want Him, to help me here - to do this for me. Don't do your will, God - do mine... Which always ends in pain.

Lord help me to truly surrender to and become completely dependent upon you - and you alone - no other ideas or dreams!